Siddhartha- Reflection

" I had to spend many years losing my spirit, to unlearn thinking again, to forget the oneness. Isn't it just as if I had turned slowly and on a long detour from a man into a child, from a thinker into a childlike person? And yet, this path has been very good; and yet, the bird in my chest has not died. But what a path has this been! I had to pass through so much stupidity, through so much vices, through so many errors, through so much disgust and disappointments and woe, just to become a child again and to be able to start over. But it was right so, my heart says "Yes" to it, my eyes smile to it. I've had to experience despair, I've had to sink down to the most foolish one of all thoughts, to the thought of suicide, in order to be able to experience divine grace, to hear Om again, to be able to sleep properly and awake properly again. I had to become a fool, to find Atman in me again."- Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

Before I go on to explain this passage I just want make a suggestion that is an attempt to answer Professor Murdaco, question on similarity of disenchantment to western religion being applicable to eastern religion as it correlates to this passage. Eastern religion according to the perspective of Siddhartha entails some of the same characteristics as 1922 western religion, that turned him away from the way it is practiced, taught and how it is received by the individual. Blindly practicing religion just for the sake of being apart of sect denounces the sole purpose of its promise. Experience is always the best teacher not the words of man because without the experience you will never be able to use what you've learned or appreciate the very thing you sacrifice your self for.

With that being said the meaning of this passage is simply Siddhartha expressing his appreciation for his all experience in his life. He appreciates his encounter with sin because though it he was able to lean on his spiritual/ holy teaching. He found himself when he set out to find an answer for himself, to think beyond what what told to him. To acknowledged what was really puzzling to him, not just accepting to be blind by the veil of tradition. Siddhartha understood that the good and the bad that life offers works together for good, even the very traditions he strayed from not feeling completed by it actually completed him in a later stage of life.

I chose this passage because it is a revelation I have come to myself, that just like a river no phase in life is isolated it is always connected. It is all one so it is never enough to just be content with one phase. Just as spirituality is an important in life experience is also an important teacher/master in life. One thing i know even with raising child there are some children who will listen when the parent say don't touch the fire you will get burned, there are also the children who will have to feel the heat before they get it, and some actually have to get burned. The one thing that I know for sure about these three different example of children is that people who have lost the most learn how to appreciate the most. So I am not surprised that Siddhartha is more learned on his life journey than his friend Govinda, though Siddhartha visited a dark place in life to consider suicide.